Friday Funny- Kiss and Tell

My inspiration this week comes from the story of my co-worker catching a couple in our back parking lot appearing to have an illicit rendezvous.  He said they’ve mostly just been talking in times past, though that was annoying because ours is a private lot, this most recent sighting found they had progressed to making out.  This time he just walked really close to the car and stared at them and they just kind of stared back as if to say, “What?”

“Ha, ha, she snowballed me, that’s hilarious!”

Therefore I thought I would put together a collection of stories of couples caught in random, weird, or down right just inappropriate places doing dirty deeds dirt cheap…

Brits catch a couple with their curtains open in the office across the street

The article goes on to describe the encounter, how the person who witnessed and filmed the encounter didn’t want to be named had continued to film the action for 20 minutes.  But, that isn’t the part that is really hilarious to me, this is how the article was concluded:

In the video, the man’s suit can be seen hanging on the chair. At one point the man looks out the window but doesn’t seem to mind or perhaps notice, the watching audience. The woman is thought to be in her late 20s and has long dark hair. The man is thought to be in his early 30s, had balding light brown hair and was wearing a suit.

Friday saw temperatures soar to the mid-twenties as Britain entered a heat wave.

Really?  The article describes positions, clothes worn/tossed on a chair, and approximate ages and appearance of the couple, but ends with a statement about the weather.

Australian couple just went at it on a bench in Sydney, Australia

The cop is photographed walking up to the couple, but it has the appearance like he’s just saying, “No, no, it’s OK, when you’re done…”

A French couple is filmed in the lobby of the bank after hours ‘making a deposit.’

A man and woman in Charleston, South Carolina make the news for getting caught with their pants down in a museum with an interesting twist…

CHARLESTON, SC (WCSC/AP) – A man and a woman had a sexual romp in the Charleston Museum police say — and the man turned out to be a cocaine supplier in a famous case recently.

The incident report states that the man was completely naked and the woman was partially clothed, apparently unaware that her underwear was attached to the bottom of her shoe.

The man having sex, Michael L. Miller, 29, pleaded guilty three years ago to providing cocaine to former South Carolina Treasurer Thomas Ravenel, police say.

Busted for drugs?  On your way to the clink? Get that nooky in before you arrive for booking in the back of the police car– WITH THE COP DRIVING!

Sewage stations aren’t sexy, but an adulterous Zimbabwe couple decides to shake their groove thing in the grass

The 30-year-old woman identified as Christina Chigombe of House No. 3564 Unit J in Seke, was caught right in the act with Brian Phiri (30), who is a widower. Brian stays at House No.6021 Old Tafara and his children stay in rural areas.

Christina’s husband, Tapiwa Mapfunde, works at a farm in Mazowe and it seems this long distance was ‘killing’ Christina so much that she opted to get the ‘conjugal rights’ from the single and readily available Brian.

Acting on a tip-off, Hmetro in the company of the council’s security caught the cheating couple still in their love nest and Christina had to hurriedly wear her panties while Brian attempted to flee in his shorts. Christina said she sired three children with her husband and when asked why she was cheating on him, she said the long distance had extinguished the ‘fire’ that used to exist in their marriage. This was despite the fact that she had also earlier on revealed that her husband comes back home every weekend!

Meanwhile, Brian who claimed to be madly in love with Christina, said he had promised to give her US$20 for the UNPROTECTED SEX that they engaged in.

“He said if he uses a condom, he will give me US$5 and if we did it without a condom, he would give me US$20 and I opted for the second offer,” said Christina who however insisted that she was not into commercial sex work.

“I am a vendor trading in SUGAR and I do not sell sex. I am in love with Brian and I want him to marry me,” she added.

Slippery when wet– a Polish couple don their swim caps, but not their suits, for a naked romp at the top of a slide at a public water park.

Exhibitionists know no bounds as a couple is caught in the open view of public on a clock tower in Australia

The identity of a couple caught making love in a clock tower in central Sydney on Friday remains a mystery, but their intimate moment won’t be forgotten with passers-by capturing it on video and mobile phone cameras.

The couple was in full view of the busy street below, with people at a bus stop laughing and pointing at the twosome.

German traveler Dirk Gensler, who was staying at an adjacent backpacker hostel, was gobsmacked by what he saw when he peered out his window.

“I was amazed by it, it was the middle of the day and so many people could see it,” he said.

I just love that word, ‘gobsmacked’ don’t you?  You may have noticed I kept the photo count down with this subject matter, but clicking nearly any link above will give your eyes a full meal deal.  I went 3 or 4 pages deep in my GOOGLE search for the above references, and I dared not click anything advertising ‘video’ or linked to YouTube.  There is just some things you can’t unsee.

We’ve not had some trivia in a while, so why don’t we ‘shoot’ some creative questions out there

1) Which came first–  Sex toys or the Wheel?

2) Who is bigger– Human males, male chimpanzee’s or gorillas?

3) Leonardo da Vinci is credited with discovering that the male erection contains blood instead of this element…

4) True or False?  Rumor that Ozti’s (the prehistoric frozen iceman) scrotal sac contained viable sperm caused many women to make the request to be artificially inseminated.

5) For the reasonable price of $7-$9K you can buy what type of sex toy?

6) What type of sexual gratification is a woman more likely to enjoy if she has gone to college?

If you just love your trivia, regardless of the topic, I recommend you click the link above and learn more fascinating tidbits about definitions, stats, and other weird sexual oddities.  For example…

  • President Lyndon B. Johnson referred to his penis as “Jumbo.”
  • A 1999 golf tournament in Australia offered a penis enlargement to the player with the longest drive.

Now, lets pause for a Station Identification…

Welcome back, and here are the answers for this article’s trivia…

1) Upper Paleolithic art dating back 30,000 years depicts people using dildos to pleasure themselves and others. That means mankind invented sex toys long before the wheel.

2) Of all the primates, man has the largest penis. The gorilla has a two-inch penis, while the chimpanzee’s is three inches.

3) Leonardo da Vinci discovered that blood filled an erect penis—not air, as had been previously believed.

4) True– A rumor that Ozti’s (Ice Man’s) scrotal sac still had viable sperm—quick-frozen as in sperm banks—prompted a number of Austrian women in the 1990s to ask if they could be artificially inseminated and have his baby.

5) Roxxy is the world’s first sex robot. It costs between $7,000-9,000. She comes with artificial intelligence and five personalities, and weighs approximately 120 pounds. Customers can customize her features, including breast size, the color of her hair, and her race. A male robot, named Rocky, is also in the works.

6) Women who went to college are more likely to enjoy receiving and giving oral sex.

Have yourself a safe and happy weekend– and please, for the sake of the children, get a room and pull the curtains closed.  CHEERS!