Friday Funny- Musical Medley

Happy Friday to All!  Lets get started:

I didn’t really get any feedback about my trivia from last week, so I’m going to do another round of that for kicks.  Sticking with an article on my blog previously where I admitted thinking “Dude! (Looks Like a Lady)” by Aerosmith was actually “Do It Like a Lady” I found this fun Trivia piece: “Misheard Lyrics” from Braingle.com (answers posted at the bottom).

1. T/F: Pat Benetar song has the lyrics, “Hit me with your pet shark.”

2. T/F: Song by Starship has the lyrics, “We built this city on the wrong damn road.”

3. T/F: Jimmi Hendrix’s lyrics go, “‘Scuse me, while I kiss the sky.”

4. Bon Jovi’s lyrics are often misunderstood to say, “It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not.” But, what he’s really singing is:

a) It doesn’t matter if we take it or not.

b) It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not.

c) It doesn’t make a difference as long as we give it a shot.

5. T/F: Elton John’s lyrics go, “Hold me closer, tiny dancer.”

6. T/F: The song by Deep Purple goes, “Slow motion Walter, the fire engine guy.”

7. T/F: Nirvana sings, “Here we are now, entertain us.”

8. T/F: U2 sings, “Shamu the mysterious whale.”

9. T/F: A song by the Eagles goes, “You’ve been outright offensive, for so long now…”

10. What is the name of the song by R.E.M. that seems to have the lyrics, “Let’s pee in the corner, let’s pee in the spotlight”?

a) Radio Song

b) Bitter Sweet Me

c) Losing My Religion

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Here is an interesting article from Cracked.com about 5 Crazy Street Performers. Number 3 is a cheat because he’s not a ‘real’ street performer, he was a plant to see if people would notice.  That being said, I’m going to focus on that concept for a moment.

Joshua Bell (from 5 Crazy Street Performers)

Let’s play Choose Your Own Adventure: The Mystery of the Secret Street  Performer. Imagine you’re on your way to work. Maybe you’re running late.  You pop into the subway station and there, in a corner next to a trash can, is a  guy playing the shit out of his violin. He’s got his case out, so you know he’s  playing for money. Do you:

A. Stop for a few minutes and appreciate a glimpse of sublime art on an  otherwise ordinary day;
B. Toss the guy a bone and throw some pennies in the  case;
C. Pretend like he’s not there. He’s probably a rapist.

Might as well be strummin' a Banjo.

If you’re one of the 1,097 people who had a chance to hear world-famous  violinist Joshua Bell on January 12, 2007, you most likely picked C. As in, you  kept walking without giving the guy a second glance. After 43 minutes of  playing, Bell made $32 bucks.

That might sound like a nice chunk for less than an hour’s work to most of  us, but Joshua Bell is no ordinary homeless guy trying to turn his music skills  into crack money. That violin he was playing? A 300-year-old Stradivarius worth  $3.5 million. Under other circumstances, people pay $100 a seat to hear Bell  play — he’s played with just about every major orchestra in the world. He even  has a Grammy.

The whole thing was an experiment set up by Washington Post columnist Gene Weingarten. The question was simple: What would happen if a  world-famous violinist performed incognito in rush hour traffic? The music  director of the National Symphony Orchestra thought a crowd would gather and  that a virtuoso would earn $150, easy. Bell himself didn’t admit any  expectations, except that he was surprised when nothing even remotely resembling  a hint of a crowd gathered during the performance. At all. Some willfully  ignored him, like he was the Cootie Man there to hand out free cooties to all  who looked his way. Others loudly talked over him on their cells as they passed  him, like they were jackass jerkfaces. Very few bothered to stop. Most  interesting of all? Some pedestrians didn’t even notice he was there.

And we know this because about 40 commuters were stopped as they left the  station and asked if they’d mind participating in a survey later in the day. The  first thing they were asked was if they’d noticed anything unusual about their  commute that morning. Of the 40 people questioned, only one guy, a postal worker  named John Picarello, mentioned the violinist. Correction: He didn’t just  mention him, he gushed about him. Out of a subway station full of people,  only one guy had the insight to be impressed by one of the world’s greatest  violinists, playing for free.

Congratulations John, you win at the universe.

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At TheFunTheory.com website there is another concept along the same lines; installing musical stairs to see if people will a) notice and b) will it change their behavior.  click this link to see for yourself.

Here is another from TheFunTheory.com. The winning idea of the fun theory award, submitted by Kevin Richardson, USA. Can we get more people to obey the speed limit by making it fun to do? This was the question Kevin’s idea answered and it was so good that Volkswagen, together with The Swedish National Society for Road Safety, actually made this innovative idea a reality in Stockholm, Sweden.  click this link to see for yourself. As an Underwriter and prior agency producer handling personal insurance for autos I found that pretty neat.

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News of the Weird, by Chuck Shepherd

Didn’t see it coming

A 53-year-old man with failing eyesight and who had recently undergone intestinal surgery told Sonoma, Calif., police that on Sunday afternoon, May 1, a woman had come to his home and instructed him to drop his pants and get face-down on the bed so that she could administer an enema. He said he assumed doctor had sent her and thus complied, and it was over in two minutes, and she was gone. The doctor later said he had no idea who the woman was. (In the 1970s, in the Champaign, Ill., area, Michael Kenyon operated similarly as the “Illinois Enema Bandit” — and inspired the late Frank Zappa’s “Illinois Enema Bandit Blues.”) [Sonoma News, 5-11-2011]

An unidentified man told police in Niles, Ill., in May that he had been victimized by a medical exam, which was conducted in an otherwise-abandoned office, by a lone “doctor” wearing a white lab coat, who used toothpicks for acupuncture pressure points, and who dispensed a container of pills (labeled “dietary supplements”) with an expiration date of February 2002. The man said he paid $200 and is not sure he got his money’s worth. [Chicago Sun-Times, 5-17-2011]

Supply vs. Demand

Several funeral homes in the United States have drive-thru windows to serve rushed mourners or those stressed by the parlor experience. “Not quite as emotional,” said one visitor to the Robert L. Adams Mortuary in Compton, Calif., referring to the need not to linger in the queue of bereaved, idling motorists. The Adams facility was even more popular during the peak of gang murders in the area, according to an April Los Angeles Times report, because the drive-thru window’s bulletproof glass rendered unnecessary the precarious indoor service in which gangbangers tried to further desecrate late rivals’ corpses. [Los Angeles Times, 4-17-2011]

In April, two Italian entrepreneurs introduced a perfume meant to evoke the scents of a person’s blood, varying by type (A, B, AB, O) — but with no actual blood. A prominent member of the U.S. “vampire community” fondly described the “intriguing” olfactory sensations of Type B (the “black cherry, pomegranate and patchouli infusions”) and Type O (“raspberry, rose hips and birch”). Another “vampirist” called the whole idea “cheesy.” [AOL News, 4-20-2011]

That’s ass backwards, really, really ass backwards

Dugan Smith, 13, is almost as good as new, having overcome an extremely rare malignant tumor on his thigh bone. A surgeon at Ohio State’s James Cancer Hospital removed the middle of Smith’s leg, turned the bottom of it around so that the back faces the front, and reconnected the parts. [WJW-TV (Cleveland), 5-9-2011]

According to a February report in China’s Wuhan Morning News, a 55-year-old farmer from Jiayu county in Hubei province finally has a functioning anus. His congenital condition had required him to restrict his diet severely and to “squeeze stools out with his hands.” [Global Times (Beijing), 2-27-2011]

Innies or outties

The Belly Button Biodiversity project at North Carolina State University has begun examining the “faunal differences” in the microbial ecosystems of our navels, to foster understanding of the “tens of thousands” of organisms crawling around inside (almost all benign or even helpful). An 85-year-old man in North Carolina may have “very different navel life” than a 7-year-old girl in France, according to a May Raleigh News & Observer report. So far, only the organisms themselves and the host’s demographics have been studied; other issues, such as variations by hairiness of navel, remain. [News & Observer, 5-9-2011]

California the swollen limph node that needs to be drained of puss

Prison Guard (“the greatest entry-level job in California,” according to an April Wall Street Journal report highlighting its benefits over a typical job resulting from a Harvard University education). Starting pay is comparable; loans are not necessary (since the guard “academy” actually pays the student); and vacation time is more generous (seven weeks, five paid). One downside: The prison system is more selective (Harvard accepts 6.2 percent of applicants versus the guard service’s fewer-than-1 percent of 120,000 applicants). [Wall Street Journal, 4-30-2011]

California taxpayers were also astonished to learn in May that several beach communities (led by Newport Beach) pay some lifeguards more than $100,000 annually in salary and benefits. (Generally, those are for long-time and supervisory jobs; ordinary “summer job” lifeguards typically make $16 to $22 an hour.) [ABC News- AP, 5-20-2011]

Giraffes suffer the same fate, that’s why they can be ‘done’ in 2 seconds…

Because female giant tortoises are lackadaisical about mating, the Knoxville (Tenn.) Zoo in May temporarily moved its two males, Al and Tex, to Zoo Atlanta to encourage Knoxville females Patches, Corky and Standup to yearn for them. Tex, by the way, is 90 years old, and Al is 130 (and hasn’t had a date since 1983, according to a May Knoxville News-Sentinel story). [Knoxville News-Sentinel, 5-26-2011]

Hopewell Township, N.J., officials, responding to noise complaints in April, passed an ordinance limiting rooster access to hens to only 10 days a year. (The chickens also must, of course, be “disease-free.”) [Trenton Times, 4-27-2011]

At least he’s humble

Oklahoma inmate Eric Torpy has served only six years of his 33-year sentence for armed robbery, but already he is looking ahead to the years 2035-2038. His original sentence was 30 years, but he challenged the judge that if he was “going down,” it would be in “Larry Bird’s jersey” — the number 33 worn by the basketball player. Judge Ray Elliott then accommodated Torpy by adding three years. Said Torpy, in May, “Recently, I’ve wisened up.” “I’m pretty sure (Bird) thinks I’m an idiot. (T)ruthfully, most people do. My own family does, so I’m pretty sure he does, too.” [Boston Globe-AP, 5-13-2011]

Maybe she needs Giraffe lessons…

In a widely reported story that originated in the Brazilian press, accountant (and severe-anxiety and hypersexuality sufferer) Ana Catarian Bezerra, 36, was said to have prevailed after a court battle in April to be allowed breaks during the work day to masturbate. [Analitica.com (Caracas, Venezuela), 5-12-2011]

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I featured this article from The Oatmeal previously along with my own adaptation of one of the comic frames.  I thought I would include it again.  From The Oatmeal’s “Why you don’t like changes to your design” which, and I’ll speak for myself here, is a near mirror image of how I feel when someone who should know better questions my Underwriting decision or worse, logic and/or authority to make that decision.

Have a safe and happy weekend, that would make this Underwriter happy too. 🙂

Answers to the Misheard Lyrics Trivia:

1. False, correct lyric is, “Hit me with your best shot!”

2. False, correct lyric is, “We built this city on Rock ‘n Roll.”

3. True, commonly misheard as, “‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy.”

4. b) “It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not.”

5. True, commonly misheard as, “Hold me close. Tie me down, sir.”

6. False, correct lyric is, “Smoke on the water, fire in the sky.”

7. True, commonly misheard as, “Here we are now in containers.”

8. False, correct lyric is, “She moves in mysterious ways.”

9. False, correct lyric is, “You’ve been out riding fences for so long now.”

10. c) Losing My Religion

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3 responses to “Friday Funny- Musical Medley

  1. 1 F 2 F 3 ?? 4 b 5 T 6 ?? 7 ?? 8 ?? 9 F 10 C
    If the train isn’t there yet, A & B. I used to always listen to the [actual] music played in the NYC subway stations but coudln’t always pay attention to the artist.
    I got to play on the musical sairs once; it was awesome!
    I love the Speed Camera Lottery! If they did it in Austin perhaps the slow drivers would stay out of the passing lane.
    Belly button studies? Helloooooo!!!!! Medicare is out of money!!!!!

    P.S. I didn’t see you answered the questions at the end. I stand by my responses. OK, i’m done ranting. I need a break to go mas… well, you know. 😉

  2. Oh, Lordy but I love that Oatmeal one – now that I’m doing FACET I get the dumbest things ever – excuse me, I can’t just make up a score and put it in there and if your score got worse (in all States but Oregon) I’m not going to put it back ’cause you only wanted to “see” if it was better. There is no “seeing” or test driving a score, thank you. Anywho, I cannot tell you how very many lyrics I mis-here every day. I guess I’m not paying attention or I’m old or something. It makes for amusing listening, however! 😀

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