Friday Funny- Giddy-up

OK, the Penn State thing is really sad, so I guess news isn’t that slow, but the whole Kim Kardashian getting a divorce before her wedding special even aired and then supposedly, kinda, maybe reconciling or whatever can go take a long walk off a short pier.

I’m going to rely heavily on the ‘News of the Weird’ from Chuck Shepherd which I’ve not had in a while, but first let’s knock out our trivia.  I think I owe another sports related trivia with all that has been in the news, including the sudden death of a beloved 15 year-old gold-medal stallion, Hickstead, at the recent Rolex F.E.I. World Cup.

Hickstead, © Dirk Caremans

Making it look easy, Beijing Olympics. R.I.P. Hickstead

Since I love horses we’re going to have ourselves some sporty/horsey trivia.

  1. Name the 3 founding stallions that established the blood lines of all Thoroughbred horses today.
  2. What United States Horse of the Year for 1920 has 21 race starts and holds 20 wins and 1 second to his record, thought to be one of the greatest race horses of the 20’th century, but was never entered into the Kentucky Derby?
  3. What races make up the triple crown? Name at least 3 of the 11 winners of the United States Triple Crown. When was it last won?
  4. Why is the American Quarter Horse named the Quarter Horse?
  5. Thoroughbreds can all trace their heritage back to the three Arabian stallions.  What American breed can trace its ancestry back to a single stallion? What was the stallion’s name?
  6. The Arabian horse is one of the most ancient breeds.  Can you name their modern strains that developed once the breeding left the Arabian peninsula and control of the Bedouin tribes?
  7. True or False: Hidalgo (by Disney, featuring Viggo Mortensen) is based on a true story.
  8. There are 3 main areas of competition in the current Olympic Equestrian Games format; what are they?
  9. Where does the riding discipline of Dressage trace its roots?
  10. Name the three rodeo competitions that utilize the horse’s athletic abilities when paired to work with the rider, instead of against the rider like a bronco.

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Now for News of the Weird.

More ( . ) ( . ) ‘s…

The British recreation firm UK Paintball announced in August that a female customer had been injured after a paintball shot hit her in the chest, causing her silicone breast implant to “explode.” The company recommended that paintball facilities supply better chest protection for women with implants. [Los Angeles Times, 9-2-2011]

The Moscow, Russia, newspaper Moskovsky Komsomolets reported in October that a local woman’s life had been saved by her “state-of-the-art” silicone breast implant. Her husband had stabbed her repeatedly in the chest during a domestic argument, but the implant’s gel supposedly deflected the blade. [Daily Mail (London), 10-5-2011]

Please stop giving these people money…

Get a grip, Colleen.

Justice! … Now! (1) Elsie Pawlow, a senior citizen of Edmonton, Alberta, filed a $100,000 lawsuit in September against Kraft Canada Inc., parent company of the makers of Stride Gum, which brags that it is “ridiculously long-lasting.” Pawlow complained that she had to scrub down her dentures after using Stride, to “dig out” specks of gum — a condition that caused her to experience “depression for approximately 10 minutes.” (2) Colleen O’Neal filed a lawsuit recently against United/Continental airlines over the “post traumatic stress disorder” she said she has suffered since a 20-minute flight in October 2009 — in which, during turbulent weather, the plane “banked” from side to side and lost altitude. [Toronto Sun, 9-22-2011] [WJRR Radio (Maitland, Fla.), 10-13-2011]

In August, a state court in Frankfurt, Germany, awarded 3,000 euros (about $4,200) to Magnus Gaefgen, 36, on his claim that during a 2002 police interrogation, officers “threat(ened) … violence” against him if he did not disclose what he knew about a missing 11-year-old boy who was later found dead. In 2003, Gaefgen was convicted of the boy’s murder and is serving a life sentence, but the court nevertheless thought he should be compensated for his “pain and suffering.” [Yahoo News-AP, 8-4-2011]

Meow…

In Charlotte, N.C., in October, a female motorist was arrested for ramming another woman’s car after that woman said “Good morning” to the motorist’s boyfriend as the women dropped kids off at school. [WSOC-TV (Charlotte), 10-3-2011]

In Arbutus, Md., in October, a woman was arrested for throwing bleach and disinfectant at another woman in a Walmart (an incident in which at least 19 bystanders sought medical assistance). Police learned that the arrestee’s child’s father had become the boyfriend of the bleach-targeted woman. [ABC News, 10-9-2011]

In a hospital in Upland, Pa., in October, two pregnant women (ages 21 and 22) were arrested after injuring a woman, 36, and a girl, 15, in a brawl inside a patient’s room. [Philadelphia Daily News, 10-11-2011]

A little shaky on the concepts…

The North Koreans called it a “cruise ship” and tried to establish a business model to attract wealthy tourists from China, but to the New York Times reporter on board in September, the 40-year-old boat was more like a “tramp steamer” on which “vacationers” paid the equivalent of $470 to “enjoy” five days and nights at sea. More than 200 people boarded the “dim” and “musty” vessel, “sometimes eight to a room with floor mattresses” and iffy bathrooms. The onboard “entertainment” consisted not of shuffleboard but of “decks of cards” and karaoke. Dinner “resembled a mess hall at an American Army base,” but with leftovers thrown overboard (even though some of it was blown back on deck). The trip was capped, wrote the Times, by the boat’s crashing into the pier as it docked, knocking a corner of the structure “into a pile of rubble.” [New York Times, 9-13-2011]

The thief who made off with the valuable lamp from St. Patrick’s Catholic Church in Winson Green, England, in October might well return to the building soon, for confession. Clearly visible on the surveillance video inside was the man, as he was just about to snatch up the lamp, making the sign of the cross. [Birmingham Mail, 10-14-2011]

Sally Stricker was angry that the Nebraska troopers patrolling the state fair grounds in September had told her that she had an “illegal” message on her T-shirt and that if she wished to remain at the fair, she would have to either change shirts or wear hers inside out. The “message” was a marijuana leaf with the slogan “Don’t panic, It’s organic.” Stricker was at the fair to attend the night’s live concert — starring (marijuana-friendly) Willie Nelson. [Lincoln Journal Star, 9-16-2011]

Boise State University’s highly rated football team suspended three players for several games at the beginning of the season for violating eligibility rules by receiving impermissible financial benefits. According to an October news release by the school, the most prominent player sanctioned was Geraldo Boldewijn, the team’s fastest wide receiver, who had improperly received the use of a car. (However, it was a 1990 Toyota Camry with 177,000 miles on it.) [Idaho Statesman, 10-6-2011]

The Batman can rest a little bit easier now…

The woman is crazy, what's not to love?

“My ultimate dream is to be buried in a deep ocean close to where penguins live,” explained the former Alfred David, 79, otherwise known in his native Belgium as “Monsieur Pingouin” (Mr. Penguin), so named because a 1968 auto accident left him with a waddle in his walk that he decided to embrace with gusto. (His wife abandoned the marriage when he made the name change official; evidently, being “Mrs. Penguin” was not what she had signed up for.) Mr. Pingouin started a penguin-item museum that ultimately totaled 3,500 items, and he created a hooded, full-body black-and-white penguin outfit that, according to a September Reuters dispatch, he wears daily in his waddles around his Brussels neighborhood of Schaerbeek. [Reuters, 9-29-2011]

As Sheldon’s mother always says, “The Asians are an inscrutable folk.”

Though South Korean children score among the highest in the world on standardized reading and math tests, their success comes at a price, according to an October Time magazine dispatch. They supposedly suffer “educational masochism” — punishing themselves by overstudy, especially in high school preparing for university admissions tests (a process so competitive that even test-coaching schools are picky about accepting students). Earlier this year, to curb the “masochism,” the government began enforcing a 10 p.m. curfew on coaching-school activities, and in Seoul, a six-man team conducts nightly after-hours raids on classes that run late-night sessions behind shuttered windows. (Ironically, Time acknowledged, American educational reformers want U.S. students to study harder, like Asians do, but Asian reformers want their students to relax, like American students.) [Time, 9-25-2011]

In America, the quest for perfectly straight teeth can lead to orthodontia bills of thousands of dollars, but in Japan, a dental “defect” — slightly crooked canine teeth — makes young women more fetching, even “adorable,” say many men. Women with the “yaeba” look have canines pushed slightly forward by the molars behind them so that the canines develop a fang-like appearance. One dental salon, the Plaisir, in Tokyo, recently began offering non-permanent fixtures that replicate the look among straight-toothed women. [CNN, 9-30-2011]

Your daddy doesn’t really love you when…

“Snakeman” Raymond Hoser, of Park Orchards, Australia, was about to be fined in August for violating his Commercial Wildlife Demonstrator License — by failing to keep at least three meters’ distance between his venomous snakes and the public — when he hit upon a defense: He would prove that he had de-venomized the deadly taipan and death adder snakes by allowing them to bite his 10-year-old daughter on the arm. (Though both bites drew blood, the girl was otherwise unhurt. Said Hoser, “(I)f they’d been venomous, she’d have been dead in two minutes.”) [Herald Sun (Melbourne), 8-10-2011]

Legal mixed-bag…

A judge in Nice, France, ruled in September that Article 215 of the French civil code (defining marriage as a “shared communal life”) in fact requires that husband and wife have sex. A husband identified only as Jean-Louis B. had evidently lost interest years earlier, and his wife was granted a divorce. Apparently emboldened by her victory, she then filed a monetary claim against the husband for the 21-year-long lack of sex, and the judge awarded her 10,000 euros (about $13,710). [Daily Telegraph (London), 9-5-2011]

Aaaahhh! TASER HER!!

It might well be “excessive force” if a sheriff’s deputy beats and pepper-sprays a black motorist who had been stopped only because the deputy saw the motorist without a fastened seatbelt. A district court judge had concluded that the force was surely justified, but the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit said in August that excessiveness of force was for a jury to evaluate. (The deputy’s explanation: The motorist, waiting for the deputy to finish his report, was sitting on a curb eating a bowl of broccoli, and the deputy had to beat him down, he said, out of fear that the motorist would throw the broccoli at him and then attack him.) [Young v. County of Los Angeles, No. 09-56372, 8-26-2011, via Findlaw.com]

The down-side to fresh eggs…

“Urban farming” is growing more popular among city-dwelling progressives committed to eating local foods, but that usually involves gardens in backyards. For Robert McMinn and Jules Corkery, it means raising two chickens in their one-bedroom apartment in New York City — just to have a supply of fresh eggs. “I don’t think it’s the ideal situation,” McMinn told the New York Daily News in October. However, he said, the hens are “cute. They’re fun to (watch) run around. They’re excited when we come home.” On the other hand, he said, “(T)hey poop everywhere.” [New York Daily News, 10-2-2011]

Bank robbers not ready for prime time…

Thomas Love, 40, was arrested in New Castle County, Del., in October after he had walked out of a WSFS Bank empty-handed. According to police, Love had presented a demand note to a teller, who couldn’t make out the writing and handed it back, provoking Love to flee. [Delaware Online, 10-11-2011]

Henry Elmer, 56, was arrested in Yuma, Ariz., in October where he had just sat down to enjoy a beer at the Village Inn Pizza Parlor. Police identified Elmer as the man who just moments earlier had robbed the Wells Fargo bank in the same block and “fled” the few steps to the Village Inn (which is also just across the street from the Yuma Police Station). [Yuma Sun, 10-11-2011]

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Speaking of Pizza, did you guys hear about the Domino’s managers that burned down a rival Papa Johns?  I hope Papa wasn’t in the house…

LAKE CITY, Fla. – The battle for pizza supremacy has taken a wrong turn in Florida.

Two managers of a Domino’s Pizza restaurant in Lake City, in north-central Florida, have been charged with burning down a rival Papa John’s location. The motive? Police say one of the men admitted that he believed with his competitor out-of-the-way, more pizza lovers would flock to his restaurant.

The Papa John’s was gutted in the Oct. 20 fire.

Both men – Sean Everett Davidson, 23, and Bryan David Sullivan, 22 – were booked on an arson charge and were being held in jail.

Sean and Bryan; Bi-Winners

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TRIVIA ANSWERS!

1. The three stallions themselves never raced, but the Arabian heritage of endurance among many other breeding traits made them highly desirable.  They were:

  1. Godolphin Arabian (or Godolphin Barb)
  2. Byerley Turk
  3. Darley Arabian

2. Man o’ War. His only loss (second) came to an appropriately named colt, Upset, and many believe it was due to a poor start and bad handling by the jockey. During his race career he set three world records, two American records and three track records. He was never entered into the Kentucky Derby during his 2 year-old or 3 year-old racing career because his owner (Samuel Riddle) didn’t like to race in Kentucky and thought it was too early in the season to run a horse 1 1/4 mile.  The prior year, 1919, Sir Barton had won the first ever Triple Crown; Man o’ War would go on to beat Sir Barton at a 1 1/4 match race by 7 lengths. Click here to go to YouTube.com and watch a video about Man o’ War.

His heritage can be traced back to the Godolphin Arabian from his sire’s side.

Man o’ War died in 1 November 1947 at age 30 of an apparent heart attack only a very short time after his longtime groom, Will Harbut, died. He was originally interred at Faraway Farm, but, in the early 1970s, his remains were moved to a new burial site at the Kentucky Horse Park, where his grave is marked with a statue by American sculptor, Herbert Haseltine.

3. Kentucky Derby (1 1/4 mile),

Preakness Stakes (1 3/16 mile),

Belmont Stakes ( 1 1/2 mile).

Past TC winners:

  1. Sir Barton
  2. Gallant Fox
  3. Omaha
  4. War Admiral*
  5. Whirl Away
  6. Count Fleet
  7. Assault
  8. Citation
  9. Secretariat
  10. Seattle Slew
  11. Affirmed

Last one in 1978 by Affirmed. *War Admiral was sired by Man o’ War.

4. The American Quarter Horse is an American breed of horse that excels at sprinting short distances. Its name came from its ability to outdistance other breeds of horses in races of a quarter-mile or less; some individuals have been clocked at speeds up to 55 mph (88.5 km/h).

5. The American Morgan horse.  They can all derive their lines back to the hardy stallion, Figure, later named after his best-known owner, a teacher, named Justin Morgan.

6. Egyptian, Polish, Russian, Weil-Marbach, and Crabbet. Historically.  The Bedouin tribes in Arabia kept strict control over the breeding; they did not geld their colts and would destroy those considered inferior, the mares were cherished as being the most well-mannered and were prized as war horses over the males.

7. Most likely FALSE. Though, Viggo looked TRULY yummy as a cowboy.

Yee-Ha!

8. The three programs are:

  1. Dressage; specific coordinated program of motions demonstrating the training and athleticism of the horse and the relaxed nature of the rider. A Grand Prix is the level of competition for the Olympics or a World Cup/Championship.
  2. Eventing; like cross-country with jumps and water-hazards, run like a race.
  3. Jumping; stadium style jumping, a short course laid out in the arena which is timed.

9. French for ‘training’, classical dressage derived its fundamentals from movements in cavalry.

Nonstandard dressage move, one of the Airs Above the Ground- Capriole

10. They have several sub-groups, but the three main areas are:

  1. Roping- Cow/calf leaves the gate and the horse and rider leave a moment later. Rider tries to rope the calf.  There are variations to what degree you need to rope/incapacitate the cow.
  2. Cutting- herd of cows in the arena; timed event where horse and rider have to cut a cow from the herd and keep it from rejoining the group for a certain amount of time to consider it ‘cut.’ Sometimes they’re roped. Really, the horse does a LOT of the work, a good cutting horse can pick the cow and watches/anticipates it moves to keep it from returning to the others basically equals an Equine/Bovine stand-off.
  3. Barrel Racing- Run lickety-split making a clover leaf like path as your run between three barrels and back across a finish line. Get close to the barrels, but don’t knock any over, and run, run, run.
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2 responses to “Friday Funny- Giddy-up

    • I’m glad you liked it. I could do a full article just on Arabians since they are my favorite breed with Morgans right behind them, but there’s a lot of material about them already, and it wouldn’t really be funny or weird. 🙂

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