Generally I’ve been uninspired for any specific themes, but some news as of late has made me wonder, “What were you thinking?” I will post random ‘What were you thinking’ photos between each story for your visual entertainment.
- Let us start with the report of a man attacking a transient and biting his face off, already circulating the web as “Zombie Apocalypse.” I suppose that is catchier than “Hannibal Rises Again.” Both men were reported to be naked at the time of the attack (and can be seen on surveillance video). The attacker had a girlfriend and worked at a car dealership washing cars, though having an arrest record is reported by friends as being friendly and turning his life around and had seemed normal that day. The victim of the attack is a man who has lived on the streets for several decades and had already survived being shot previously. From what I’ve read the toxicology was not back yet on the attacker, but some believe a new strain of LSD was involved and is what is being reported in the initial news coverage. Click here to watch the news report. [Update: this link is the latest posting from Yahoo on the victim’s recovery and how to donate to his medical needs]
- A much more less gruesome story involves a Brazilian man who painted himself green in honor of The Hulk, only he used the kind of paint for ballistic missiles and submarines. Needless to say it wasn’t easily water soluble. Fortunately, after much scrubbing he’s now back to his original pigmentation, though I can only imagine that he must be raw like a peeled orange.
- What was he thinking? James Franklin, head coach of Vanderbilt is quoted to have said in a radio interview,
“I’ve been saying it for a long time, I will not hire an assistant coach until I’ve seen his wife. If she looks the part, and she’s a D-I recruit (one of the nation’s best-of-the-best), then you got a chance to get hired. That’s part of the deal.”
“There’s a very strong correlation between having confidence going up and talking to women, and being quick on your feet and having some personality and confidence and being fun and articulate, than it is walking into a high school and recruiting a kid and selling him.”
Though Franklin has gone on to provide a half-ass apology on Twitter saying his ‘foot doesn’t taste good and that he didn’t mean to offend anyone…’ he doesn’t actually say that he’s going to stop checking out the tits of future perspective assistant coach’s wives. Nice. ( . ) ( . )
- Three words: Guitar Pee Music.
- A man in Harvard, Idaho was arrested for indecent exposure after being caught dangling his junk through the fence to entice a neighbor’s dog to lick his genitals. So wrong on so many levels, but mostly– wasn’t he worried about splinters?
- A man in Decatur, Alabama had a toothache. While the standard (I don’t have insurance for that) would be to tie a string around the problem tooth the other to an open door and then slam it shut to yank out the offending tooth, this 61 year-old man decided to use a .25 caliber gun to shoot out the tooth instead.